the first time she drowned

Blue ocean..., 

We've been doing something right?! Aren't we? 

I'm a bit surprised and I would hate myself all my life if I'm not doing anything. But I am. 

I don't really have something to make me cry except it is something big and important in my life. You get me wrong it's more than things. 

It is super complicated. No one would never understand until u tell me the same or u have same story.., 

Yes it is something cruel. The most craziest thing that I would hate forever. 

I'm pretty sure as a normal heart full of love and peace you would never ever do something bad to someone who doesn't even know that much about life.. Or just a few months landed on the world.

It feels so painful but It wasn't happen on me. I feel so bad, no none make me wanna write in this blog than this feeling right now. 

I wanna shout out and clear all of shit but it's impossible cz I know it would make things worse. 

But it's so God damned crazy and stupid. 

I wanna do something but I couldn't. 

Its like I know my limit, there is a big walls, a mirror walls. I could see everything but couldn't do anything. Tried so hard to climb it, to save the things that make me feels so bad but it's so fucking hard.

I don't understand why is every smile of those laugh couldn't make the heart of love moving and take away the anger or madness. 

I don't understand! At all.., 

As I feel it on my heart.. 

It is something painful. 

As stucked on my head and spinning around reminds me every second how crazy and stupid is it.

I would be the God mother for every new laughter whose thinking the cloud

follow the step.

The God mother that I wish could do more than just crying and sad. 

A today quote 

" you know it's painful enough to be YOU." 

So make sure no none feel the same!!!